PATRIOTS DRINK FUELLED RAVE
Where are the Patriots? It’s a question that’s been on the agenda of many a Hero Hunter of late?
June is Patriots Month, but their absence has been the talk of dinner parties right across the HH community. Rumours have flown and critics have circled, but we can exclusively reveal that they have been spotted in deep and darkest Brixton raving it up in mosh pits.
“Fortress, where have you been all month?”
Fortress: “AAAGHGHHGH…” Fortress was unfortunately unable to make a meaningful comment and promptly froze to the spot while his arms girated in what can only be described as a deeply disturbing experience. Fortunately new member of the team, Flatline, jumped to the rescue with this interjection: “What’s up bro - we have been livin’ it up large my friend…fancy a shot? Go on, give this a go…it stops your heart, but no worries I can bring you back and I can guarantee you would never have had such a kick - booyah!”
We declined the offer as it started to become more and more apparent that the entire team were completely rat-ars*d. Surge and Saphyr were - well we just can’t print what they were up to, suffice to say that a gravity device and rift blade found whole new uses…
Out of the shadows, their agent (could it be Kurtz?) appeared and apologised to the HH community, on behalf of the team, that they had totally forgotten that this was supposed to be their month.
We have it on good authority that the Patriots are booked into Rehab now and are under-going an intensive Detox course of fruit and root smoothies. Rather you than me!
We wish them a speedy recovery and cannot wait for them to make their comeback - shot anyone?